Ridley Scott and Cormac McCarthy Hit Rock Bottom with Lackluster "Counselor"

When the best thing about a movie is the Cleveland Browns pennant hanging in a bar, you know you're in trouble.  I really wanted to like this movie and have been looking forward to it all year.  And yet:  "The Counselor" may be the worst movie of 2013.  I'm not one to pile on a critical beating when a movie stinks, but it truly offended my sensibilities as a screenwriter.

This is the first original screenplay by Pulitzer Prize winning novelist Cormac McCarthy.  That doesn't make it more special than anyone else's first screenplay.  Which is to say it's amateurish, lacks active characters, has no visual conflict and simply doesn't understand the medium.  Make no mistake:  Cormac McCarthy is a brilliant novelist - one of the greatest living American writers.  But this failure shows how unique writing for the Big Screen is, and how it takes years of practice to write a compelling movie.

What bothers me more than the degree of crap onscreen is that this movie was made by a major movie studio with such talents as Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, and Michael Fassbender.  It's sad to think about the truly deserving scripts that were passed over in favor of this, simply because of the writer's notoriety.

More importantly Ridley Scott should have known better.  A director famous for his visual style should have recognized this script as a talky bore.  It lacks action, suspense, thrills or coherence.  The biggest problem begins with the worst protagonist in recent memory.  Michael Fassbender's "Counselor" does absolutely nothing but talk, listen, talk all through the movie.  And cries - at least three times, but all while on the phone.  He takes no action.  He just meanders and grimaces like he never knows what's going on.  Same for all the characters.  They never perform any act of consequence.  When people are eventually killed, it's random characters who do the killing in all instances.  Various other famous actors show up (Hank from "Breaking Bad" for example), but again they do nothing for no reason, then quickly disappear. 

If this movie is remembered for anything, it will be the scene where Cameron Diaz has sex with a Ferrari.  Even that one attempt to be shocking is mishandled.  The scene is narrated in flashback, rather than shown as it unfolds, eliminating any suspense or active drama.  What purpose does it serve?  A woman who will do that will do. . .what exactly?

Movies should not be formulaic, but they do need to be visual.  From "The Great Train Robbery" to "Gravity" - movies have moved audiences because of their storytelling imagery.  "The Counselor" relies on cryptic dialogue to advance the narrative, and that does not work.  I encourage aspiring screenwriters to see "The Counselor" so they learn what not to do.  Because this movie is full of it.